An old friend came to visit today. Such joy. An old friend who knew me when we both were young. She scaled the stairs a bit slow this time, not the old Olympic contender swimmer as before. Her joints a bit achy. She arrived, but not out of breath. We embraced.
You look so much better than the last time! I confessed.
Thank you, she said.
We sat on my couch. She was once in love with me. I thought many of our contemporaries didn’t make into the third destiny. We called out the names of friends who passed away. It made us feel very special suddenly, like survivors guilt, how come we are still standing? After all we are still in the sixties, pushing seventy. Not so old if you think about it. Sixty-eight must be the new fifty-eight. Who knows? Doesn’t matter. […]
Original post by Z Budapest and software by Elliott Back
Musings
Here is the time to begin to reflect on the year about to pass. Goddess bless, I had a horrible, wonderful year.
Last year this time I was immobile, my SI joint was inflamed, I was running fever of 101, and none of the docs could diagnose me.
The uncertainty of it all … the humiliation of not being able to walk, the loss of fun and friends, my life was conducted on the phone and online. I had to cancel all obligations. And always, this possibility that they had to open up my hip replacements and redo it; putting me on antibiotic drips for three months, and then replace the hips with new ones. And, I would never walk again normally.
All this because fever in this country can only come from infections. Not so.
I talked to a woman who said she had SI joint inflammations. […]
Original post by Z Budapest and software by Elliott Back
Musings
I settle down after 6pm on my couch, after all I deserve this, I am an Elder, lets watch some mindless stuff. I am never disappointed when I have zero expectations.
Thank Goddess for the clicker! I click madly, let’s see the News, everybody got the News, each network reporting on the very same event, why they think if they are different from each other we’ll miss out on some vital piece of news, like something has gotten blown up, there was an accident on the Bay Bridge, commuters are slowed down into a crawl. Come on!
What is this attachment to bad news? You could report on some good news too. Like in most of the world, there is no war. Yes. Imagine this, out of the many many countries, we see Somalia warring, Arabs have taken over, killing the blacks who are the […]
Original post by Z Budapest and software by Elliott Back
Musings
I have been so busy cheering for the anti-war messages, enjoyed Jon Stuart ‘s satire, ate up Mad TV old reruns, SNLs, a little of the CNN documentaries and other frothing male scenes, either fighting each other or laying dead. Corpses. I have forgotten to say, hey boys! Watch your urges to fight! Where does this testostorone driven war machine come from? Is it achieving anything good? Ever? Is it always only greed?
I have forgotten about the many dead.
Forgive me Crone Mother, I was all about fighting myself … fighting the gender wars. If mothers ran the world, there would be more common sense. There would be more baking of community breads together and eating together as a sacrament.
Mothers would turn boring do nothing meetings into spinning wheels, embroidering society. Mothers would make sure everybody had a meaningful job to perform.
If […]
Original post by Z Budapest and software by Elliott Back
Musings
I loaded myself and two other women into the cramped space of my little truck and packed off for a drive deep into the heart of the redwood forest. The weather was warmer than it should be at the turning of the seasons, but Indian Summer had graced our night. The drive took over an hour and the going was very rough, on primitive roads nearly washed away by winter’s storms.
Bumpy and windy as it was, no one complained. We were all in good spirits and in full of anticipation for the full moon ritual we were about to cast as we drove deeper and deeper into the mystery of the forest. Finally, we found our destination.
We had come to the home of a dear circle sister who lived off the grid. That is the purest way to be in my way of thinking. Completely surrounded by national and state forest lands, her world will never be infringed upon by humans. To be deep into the heart of the land, and then suddenly see a wee farm show itself, was a magic unto its own existence.
Mother Moon was not yet showing herself above the forest’s treetops as we all greeted and hugged. It doesn’t take a gaggle of heathen women long to prepare a ritual space when they’re filled with moon energies. We could feel her coming, and we were excited to greet her at this turning of the wheel.
With the ritual space set, we gathered around and cast a circle. But I must say, in my way of thinking the circle was already cast for us by the forest. Really, all we were doing was calling up our ancient selves through the rote of ritual experience. The elementals were welcomed through the vibration of music … drum, flute and voice. Of course we sang, “She changes everything she touches….” How could you not sing that song when it is such a pregnant full moon?!
The September full moon is my most favorite of moons. It’s my holy of holies as moons go. She fills the night skies in such big and grand way that she cannot be denied her due.
With the circle cast, the elementals welcomed … we invited the energies of Hecate and Persephone to join us, and then we lit the fire just as Momma Moon peeked in on us over the tree tops.
With the moon is Aries, we gave voice to her counter-balance of Libra energies. To me it means the moon is dancing with us in all her glory, yet she holds the mystical gifts of great and abundant loving energies. It’s so in-your-face energies, and in such a wickedly good loving way.
What we did next was in my mind the best thing that women can do in circle, we began by passing a talking stick and each woman told her story of where she was at in her life, the influences that had brought her there and what she wanted to cast for on this moon. The warmth of the night airs held us as each women took at least a half hour to speak uninterrupted. Such an amazing gift we gave each other in the purity of being listen to in a complete and whole way. It is what all of us crave most in life, and on this night it was realized.
Such rich, full and detailed stories these women shared. Their human experiences stood in stark contrast to their spiritual needs. Always the issue is the blending of the two, and the deep desire to walk their own talk in their daily lives. I loved these women in that moment of timelessness for being the amazing souls they are … and my good fortune to have been witness to them showing their true selves. Such a blessing.
When we finished, the moon had risen fully into the night sky. We’d let the fire die down to embers because the moon was so brilliant, we needed nothing more to illuminate us. She cast a glow upon all the redwoods around us, and at times the forest was very active and at others, it was completely still. At one point, a small wind blew through our space … and only in our space, as the rest of the forest was quiet. I quietly welcomed the Fae, whispering to only one sister … “Here they are, here they come.” She smiled because she knew them too. I love the redwoods. I am always embraced by the beings that live there. It’s a good place for me to be authentic.
When the stories finished, we did a little magic to find our deeper selves and sculpt our lives to match our spiritual needs. We imbibed apples with our intentions, and like any good witch would do, we ate of the fruit. Saving the seeds, we dropped them into little pouches and tied them for a month’s worth of contemplation until the next full moon when we will release those seeds of change. I must say, those were wicked good apples too!
Apple cores cast to the embers, we opened the circle and enjoyed plenty of good food together to ground and prepare for the long trek off the mountain. But there again, the moon lead us safely down the dangerous path to the safety of our own beds.
Cerridwen Sidhewolf
Full Moon in Aries 0007
Dianic Faerie Faery Moon Musings Ritual Seasonal Wicca Womens Spituality
Do you remember when you hurt your knee and ran to your mother and she hugged you? All the hurt melted away. Do you recall when you had your heart broken, and a good friend gave you a good hug? Your broken heart started to feel light again.
Hugging is free, and used all too sparingly. We’ll go to a therapist before we avail ourselves of the hugs of our friends. It’s like having the soul medicine always in the cabinet and we just not able to take it.
This is the reason I have decided to build a weekend workshop around hugging. I have read up about it: it turns out hugging reduces high blood pressure, promotes better digestion, heightens self esteem, creates a sense of well being.
I know I am under-hugged by humans. I hug my little dog in the morning, […]
Original post by Z Budapest and software by Elliott Back
Musings
There was a time when our grandmothers had a secret bottle and when their leg hurt they would take a couple of small little pills. Maybe not every day, but on occasion. And it worked- they could walk about again, go shopping. This lingered in my mind when I recently became an old woman. The leg spasms that I had not counted on after my double hip replacement hit me hard. I thought the operation would eliminate all the pain. And it has. For three blissful years I was a good as new.
Then the bones decided to settle. In this settling, kneecaps and femurs moved out of place. Pulled the muscles this way and that. The result? Once again I couldn’t walk. I lay around for a long time, and muscles got weak. Now they cramp and hurt.
When I take drugs against it, they make me sleepy, […]
Original post by Z Budapest and software by Elliott Back
Musings
Granny Rehab injured herself in her sleep. She was walking again, really nicely. She didn’t need her canes except to climb up the 24 stairs to her door. Her friend M. bought her a little gadget which measured her steps and calculated them into miles. Granny Rehab proudly wore that around in her pocket, and learned that she walked five to seven miles a day sometimes. All this without pain! She thought the prize was almost hers. She would have her painless life back, with hiking and moving.
A bed is all important for an older woman. Granny Rehab has nice down covers with stars and moons printed on the coverlet. She has her pillows just the right size, she rests her legs on them as she falls asleep.
One night in her hubris she decided may be it would be […]
Original post by Z Budapest and software by Elliott Back
Musings
In Piedmont, 2 blocks from where I live. When the earth shakes, everybody becomes a pagan and looks down to god and not up to heaven. For a few seconds we all pray to be spared. There is such a power behind every little move of the earth that we, as humans, dwarf in the face of the almighty planet.
My first Earthquake happened in Hollywood where I lived in the early seventies. For a Hungarian ex-New Yorker, it was GOD talking. I had never felt like that before - the earth moved underneath my feet. I fell to my knees and kissed the dirt.
Earthquakes make the tires on the road sound like they have a flat. Booboom-Boom. The walls shake as if wrestled by a giant. It’s nothing personal. The earthquake is a “happening” and if you are alive […]
Original post by Z Budapest and software by Elliott Back
Musings
Ever since I decided to return to work after five years of health related absence, and create a weekend for Mothers and Daughters on Mother’s Day weekend, the issues are pouring out of everybody.
So how was your childhood?
This all important time in our human development is tossed aside by society, and everything is left to a young mother to deal with. We may have a helper, usually not a man, often our mother. When we become mothers we notice that there is no good will toward mothers being mothers in public. If she needs to nurse her baby, she is called disgusting. Her breast, with a suckling babe is banned as obscene from the cover of baby magazines!
The mammalian breasts, these all important, often artificially enlarged tits, filled with silicone or salt water, yes they are worth lots […]
Original post by Z Budapest and software by Elliott Back
Musings
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